Welcome to Wednesday Word, a weekly linkup for everyone, not just health and fitness bloggers. Each Wednesday you will have a single word prompt to write about. Let your imagination run free and share with your readers your interpretation of that word, or simply use it as inspiration for your post. Today’s word is judgmental….. I’d love to have you link up, and if you do, please remember to follow my six simple rules.
Judgmental – tending to judge people too quickly and harshly
~ Merriam-Webster
Being judgmental doesn’t look good on anyone. I should know, I used to be way too judgmental. And then about eighteen years ago I met someone – someone who became a close friend and who never said a bad word about anyone. Through observation, I realized that she looked for the good in everyone, and accepted them for who they were. She didn’t judge, she accepted. What a wonderful trait my friend had, and how beautiful it made her. It was delightful and refreshing to be around her.
Since becoming friends, I have tried very hard to emulate her kind ways. I try to look at others and accept them for who they are, and not expect them to be or act a certain way. I strive to follow the motto that if I don’t have something positive to say about someone, to say nothing at all. I do my best to refrain from being sanctimonious when deep inside I want to disapprove. I do my best…
Believe me, I’m a work in progress, and I’ve found the following tips useful in helping me become less judgmental:
- Look for the good in everyone
- Accept people for who they are
- Don’t expect others to be just like you
- Embrace differences
- Be understanding
- Get to know the whole person
- Don’t expect others to follow your set of rules
- Don’t look for flaws in others to feel better about yourself
As a trainer, I have found being non-judgmental to be very helpful. I work with people of all ages, shapes, sizes, abilities, and motivational levels. It would be easy to judge someone for any of these traits which don’t measure up to society’s expectations, but that’s not my job. My job is to listen, to help set goals, and then devise a plan to help meet those goals. My job is to educate and motivate, not judge.
I think it’s normal for everyone to be at least a little bit judgmental. I’m just trying hard not to be, but as I said, it’s a work in progress…
What tips can you share that help keep you from being judgmental?
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Next Wednesday’s Word: Energetic
Brene Brown’s Rising Strong had a wonderful section on assuming that everyone was just doing the best they can. She says it more articulately, and that chapter is worth the whole price of the (very excellent) book. I love your take on judgmental — I have to admit, I did not take such a high road in my post. 🙂
Anne recently posted…Judge This!
Thank, Anne, I’ll have to check that out.
Really great post, Deb! It probably helps to remember that people are thinking about you a lot less than you’re thinking about you!
Judy @ Chocolaterunsjudy recently posted…Good judgement comes from experience
Thank you, Judy!
Great tips! Embrace differences is my favorite.
Sonia recently posted…Impossible
And perhaps the most important tip…
These are important things to keep in mind., I think understanding that others may be coming from a different place than you can go a long way to quashing judgment.
Coco recently posted…Jailed By Judgmentalism
That’s such a good point, yet so easy for people to forget.
I work in the type of job that lends itself to being judgemental…when I see families, I have to consciously step back and not “judge a book by its cover”. Sometimes kids come in dirty, parents are crabby…there’s a lot of stuff going on. I think I do a pretty good job of not taking things at face value and trying to accept people for who they are. It’s always a work in progress.
Wendy@Taking the Long Way Home recently posted…You Be The Judge: Trading Bibs and an Invisible Finisher
I can imagine that you must see and hear a lot when seeing your patients.
It is a work in progress for all of us! Great tips! and you are right it is nice to be around people who always seem to see the good in all- refreshing!
Mary Beth Jackson recently posted…Judgmental- who me?
Thank you, and yes, it’s so refreshing being around people who only look for the good in others!
Great tips!!
I too am working hard. I don’t tend to judge quickly but I do have judgmental tendencies that I am really working on.
I like -accepting differences. Thay is a good one!
Thanks, Tamieka! I think it’s a work in progress for a lot of us.
Good advice and not always easy to do is it? I have made an effort to distance myself from people in my life who are judgemental and negative and it’s made a huge difference for me in my own happiness.
Deborah @ Confessions of a mother runner recently posted…My Current Recovery Strategies-How I stay up and running
That’s another great tip – distances yourself from judgmental people so you don’t get caught up in the negativity. Thanks!
These are all great reminders. I think “different” is hard for a lot of people to accept. And maybe that’s just perhaps a lack of understanding. It’s definitely something we should all work on though. Thanks for the link!
HoHo Runs recently posted…Dear Body:
I think you’re right – sometimes people just don’t understand, and base opinions on a lack of understanding.
Thanks for hosting this linkup! I like your list of tips. Similar to #2, I had a mentor in my first management role ask me to think about whether my team members were already doing their best, and maybe it wasn’t the same “best” as what I am accustomed to giving. It took a while, but I think I’ve adjusted my mindset on this type of thing and it’s made for much less frustrating days! 🙂
That’s such a good point. I sometimes have to remember that when I’m training clients. I might ask them to try harder, but to them they are working just as hard to lift that ten pound weight as I would be to lift a twenty pound weight. They are giving their all, and I have to realize that!
I can be judgemental on the inside, although I seldom express it. But I also have a natural tendency to see the good in people and to accept them for who they are. I’m no extrovert, but I am a people person in that I like people in general. I just don’t always like to be around them 🙂
Meagan recently posted…Your Toughest Critic
HaHa – I’m like that, too. I’m very social and really like doing stuff with my friends, but I love my alone time!
It can be incredibly difficult not to judge, but we usually only get snapshots of other people’s lives and we never know the whole story. Thanks for posting some great reminders on how to keep our judgments to ourselves.
Jenn recently posted…wednesday word: judgmental
You bring up such a great point, Jenn, thanks!
Judgemental-ness is a struggle! I think ultimately I want others to succeed and be happy, and it’s frustrating to stand back and watch others do self-destructive actions. A lot of those actions are done without the person being aware of the damage they’re doing to themselves. I try to intervene….but sometimes I have to just let it go when they’re unreceptive. It’s tough!!
Kimberly Hatting recently posted…Fight for Air Climb 2016-Climb, Conquer, Cure
It is tough when you’re wanting to help and you’re met with a wall; and you’re right, sometimes you just have to let go.
Deb Runs recently posted…Ragnar’s Unisex Versus Women’s Cut Race Shirts
Your list is prefect! I try it remember we have not walked ones shoes… All of us have ups and downs.
Karen recently posted…Level Up Virtual Runs
Thanks, Karen!
This has been a great Wednesday Word to read about! (for some reason, none of my “commentary” is showing up, so I’m commenting twice). All of these points are valid, and I struggle with being judgemental daily. Not so much out of comparison, but more of frustration with people and their actions (intentional and otherwise).
Kimberly Hatting recently posted…Fight for Air Climb 2016-Climb, Conquer, Cure
I just found this and your other comment in the trash folder of WordPress. Obviously, I don’t check that folder very often, and somehow missed it when you sent me a message on FB.
Deb Runs recently posted…Ragnar’s Unisex Versus Women’s Cut Race Shirts
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